It's all a matter of time until it breaks.
Sometimes I go the whole day without eating and I don’t even notice until around midnight when my stomach is cramping from lack of food. Sometimes I lay there for hours trying to fall asleep and then my mind wanders. My dreams slowly form from something good into something evil. I’m sick of waking up scared shitless of what might’ve happened. Broke out in sweat and tears. I’m terrified. I’m sick of shaking half the night and the terrible feeling of being asleep and awake at the same time. In terrified of what is to come of me. Of this. What am I anymore? I don’t eat. I barely sleep. And I work so hard I haven’t gotten anything done that needs done for my life. Maybe. Just maybe I’ll fall asleep forever. And maybe that’s what I need